“You’re Not Misunderstood You’re Just Full of Shit”
If you bring something up to your partner something that hurt you, bothered you, or just didn’t sit right and their first reaction is to deflect, get defensive, or flip the blame on you like you’re the problem…
That’s not love. That’s manipulation.
That’s emotional immaturity.
That’s not a “misunderstanding” that’s avoiding accountability.
Because someone who truly cares about you won’t shut down your feelings just because they feel uncomfortable.
They won’t make you feel guilty for having boundaries or emotional needs.
And they won’t punish you for having the courage to speak up.
That’s someone showing you they can’t hold emotional tension they can only hold control.
And control is not connection.
When someone values power over partnership, the relationship stops being safe not physically, but emotionally.
It becomes a place where truth is dangerous and silence is survival.
What most people miss is how it starts:
It’s subtle.
A few jokes at your expense.
Passive-aggressive digs wrapped in sarcasm.
Dismissive comments like “you’re overthinking” or “you’re too sensitive.”
And eventually, you start questioning yourself more than you question them.
You begin to tiptoe around the truth just to keep the peace.
But that kind of peace? It’s just fear in disguise.
Then, when you finally start to find your voice, they flip the script again.
They say things like, “I don’t even know how to feel,” or “I’m afraid you’re going to leave me.”
They act confused as if your concerns are coming out of nowhere.
But let’s be clear: they know exactly what they’ve been doing.
They know how their words, actions, and emotional games have affected you.
They fear you’ll walk away not because they’re clueless… but because they’re fully aware that you’re waking up.
They know you’re starting to see the manipulation, the gaslighting, the blame-shifting and they know there’s a real chance you won’t tolerate it anymore.
So no, it’s not you.
It’s not your sensitivity, your standards, or your honesty that’s the problem.
It’s their behavior.
It’s their refusal to take accountability.
It’s their emotional abuse that pushes people away and deep down, they know that.
But they’d rather make you the problem than face themselves.
So don’t be fooled by a clown and his flying monkeys.
And don’t think you need to stay for the whole performance because you don’t.
You can walk out whenever you want.
Trust me, this is their act one they’ve performed hundreds of times.
To them, this is normal.
But it doesn’t have to be your normal.
You don’t owe anyone your silence, your suffering, or your sanity just to keep up appearances.
You owe yourself the freedom to leave the circus.