Filling My Own Cup

No one and nothing will ever silence me, especially when I’m speaking truth. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve stumbled, fallen, and done things that weren’t my proudest moments. But I’m not ashamed of any of it. Those choices, those lessons, those scars? They made me who I am. I don’t live in regret. I don’t sit and dwell on the past, because what’s done is done. I can’t change it, and honestly? I wouldn’t even if I could. I don’t need to explain myself to anyone who’s still stuck in a version of me that no longer exists. I’ve grown. I’ve healed. And now I speak louder, stronger, and with more purpose than ever before.

How do I do this?

With confidence in who I am today.

With honesty not pretending to be okay when I’m not.

Not pretending that I’ve got it all figured out, because I don’t not all the time.

This life I live, this relationship I wake up to each morning… I face it with openness. I wonder what the day will bring: will it feed love and connection, or slowly drain what’s left? Either way, I show up. I stay real. I stay present.

Before, I used to run. I used to numb every emotion I didn’t want to face pain, hurt, failure, disappointment. I buried it all because it was easier than facing reality. I didn’t want to feel, so I avoided the moment. Instead, I clung to memories, living in what once made me happy, even if it was long gone. But that wasn’t living that was escaping.

Now? I choose to feel it all. The beauty. The chaos. The uncertainty. Because I know healing isn’t about perfection it’s about truth. And I’m standing in mine, unshaken.

Is it any easier?

Heck yes, it is at least for me.

Because now I feel it. I see it. And no matter how much something hurts, I still take the next step.

Up. Forward.

Toward peace.

Toward growth.

Toward everything I know I deserve.

And all the negative things and even the people that don’t flow with my growth?

They stay behind.

Unlike before, when I allowed them to walk beside me, even when they were only holding me back.

It used to be hard to let go. It used to break me to leave people I loved behind. And that pain kept me stuck repeating cycles that never let me grow.

But today? It’s not as hard.

I won’t lie it still hurts, especially when it’s people I love.

But I’m not accepting breadcrumbs anymore.

Because I’ve learned to love myself.

I’ve learned the power of filling my own cup.

And I’ve finally realized how good it feels not to need someone else to do it for me.